An achey heart.

Well it's been a while since I have updated. A little overwhelmed. Sometimes I would like to have a place to hide where there wasn't work to be done. Sometimes being able to fix things and being a work a holic is not good when you need to escape. With spring here I look at my yard and home and see all that needs to be done. Changes and responsibilities at church going up, seem like a mountain with lots of steep cliffs. Then I look at our school system and their laziness in helping young people become all they can be. Instead of helping our youth make right choices from wrong ones they send them away the first time they step out of line. Then I look at the countless families who were displaced by the flood of 08 and my heart just breaks at the overwhelming loss.

I'm not down. I'm not depressed. I'm tired. I find myself worrying. Not for myself. My challenges are small in comparison. I worry for those around me. My heart cries and my soul aches for those that I love and care about. I am reminded of Job and his response when he reached that point of just giving up on life. He said, "Who am I to question God. And His reasons behind what He does. I just need to let God be God." I know He has a plan for all of this. I know He sees all that I see and more. I know He knows the cry of my heart. He knows I feel ill equipped. And frankly I am ill equipped. :) But my biggest fear is that my heart would become numb to all that I see. My prayer is that God would not allow that to happen. May I continue to feel the pain for others and remain steadfast in my love of people and not become removed from those God brings into my life. I pray that whether His people are happy, sad, critical, encouraging, judgmental, peaceful, depressed, joyful, loving, or unloving that I would not become anything other than what He wants me to be. Loving, showing grace and peace. No matter how bad I might want something I pray that God reminds me that it is not about me but about Him and His people.